[My manga] Akai Sora Opinions

Eredale wrote:Wind!
Earth!
Fire!
Water!
Lightning!
With these 5 powers combined, I am... Oh wait, that's from somewhere else...

No, no, no. Wrong order. Go and watch Captain Planet again.
And
WHERE IS HEART?!


Ontopic: First would fit your style more, one thought though: don't do it like in real life. Nobody will want to read that.
Second sounds... a bit repetitive, but fun, but if you don't want to...

Spoiler:

Magnamancy wrote:Hmmm.

Following the supernatural idea...

~Suggestions~

~Regarding the concept of Overloads~

Calling the things 'Overloads' should lead to something other than a move,
How about when they cross into our dimension or whatever term you
want to use, they are unbalanced energy wise due to the differing natures
between where they're from and here.
Good stuff

This causes them to need to immediately absorb local 'energies' to sustain
themselves, the initial location's ambient 'energies' align the creature's
nature to the most prominent element.
Naturally, the things would search out sources of energy, as the
environment cannot provide enough to sustain them for long periods.
Yuhp, that's also a good idea

They can't handle a sentient being as thier first host because it overloads
thier own form, so thier first host would normally be a local animal.
A bit like a stepping stone.
Mmkay

As with the ambient energies, the things would take on characteristics of
the creatures, this is essentially an unintentional evolving process.
The host doesn't last long though, as now severe imbalances within the
animal caused by the presence of the thing are wrecking it internally and
mentally.
Mmkay

With the death of the animal, the thing now needs another host, and low
and behold, Sentient life hosts are now viable for the things.
Here a balance can be struck more often than at either of the previous
stages, allowing symbiotic life, with the things basically living off the energy
and the host gaining the defense of the natures of the things.
Yuhp, that's where I was getting at.

If a balance isn't struck here, either the thing or the sentient life overloads
the other, resulting in whatever you want.
Ok

~Regarding Plot~

Random immediate training? Perhaps a trait like ambition or power lust would
prompt a believable character to train after a period of accustomization
to both the concept and nature of being a host to the thing.
It aint random, I just didn't mention it xD
It would be due to him wanting to get somewhere in life, without having to follow the path his father had layed out for him.
In his case, a more normal life, where he can experience excitement and of course, love. Of course he'd have more advantage with powers,
since then he'd be awesome physically, and could possibly use this for many other things.

Also, he'd have knowledge of the Overloads after seeing his father toy around with them. If you get powers, what would you immediately do? Test them out. Therefore, leading to 'training', or Leon getting to know himself better.

Evan's background and introduction could use some tweaking, it's at odds
with his character and makes the situation seem strange.
Did I type the plot up too fast or something? Well I didn't necessarily get into detail cuz I was rushing, so:
- Evan, who lived in a rural area, had an elder sister who had to take care of him when their parents died. Since they had lived in a rural area, the community was tight, and everyone knew everyone. Now let's say that Evan's sister gets rather stressed from helping out and being kind to everyone, and that Evan's needs cause her death. Of course, her admirers would get pissed off with that idea, and them blaming Evan would lead to bullying. Coincidentally, Leon just happens to be passing by.

Now you see, even if Leon hadbeen training, he'd still be a kid, and he'd still get beaten up by these guys. He also wouldn't be able to use his powers too good yet, but he'd still have some moves up his sleeves.

Celebrities is a bit random. The public tends to fear what it doesn't
understand, Hadron Collider Doomsday hype for instance.
Perhaps just the ones that make good with what powers they gain
become accepted/popular for the most part.
I can't see a mean guy with lightning cannons for hands to be popular
for instance. =/
Everyone would know the 5 best guys, but they won't all be celebs that are GOOD with the people. A villain could still be 'popular' and known by everybody.



~Praise~

I do like a fair few things (anything and everything I didn't mention above
I'm serious), and it's got the makings of severe coolness, good luck. [/spoiler]

Regarding the art style, from one artist to another, practise and you can be
good at anything.